First of all, yes, I am going to post three times in three days. Why? I am going to post three times in three days because, after that, it is quite likely that I won’t post for another 3-6 months.
Now.. I felt that the end of my last post, while fitting for the uncertainty and ambiguity of a PhD program, was a bit flippant. I don’t want to be flippant. I’ve been given a great opportunity, and I really am trying to make the most of it. Sometimes I fail. Other times I am relatively successful.
What does it mean to be a “real grad student?”
- It means I give myself the permission to be taken seriously. This does not have anything to do with calling professors by their first names. Some will probably take my modest behavior for lack of confidence. Sometimes it is, but often it is just that I observe the title of “Dr.” as an earned distinction and a social formality. I will not call a professor by first name unless that professor asks the class to do so and I feel like I have a working professional relationship with that professor. Moreover, I believe I have to consider (as I was discussing with a friend yesterday) the ways in which the experience of women professors, and perhaps specifically black women professors, is devalued when students call them “Ms.” or by their first name. See these great articles, “Some College Students Earn a ‘F’ in Respect for Women Teachers” by Dr. Ebony Utley, and “On Being Called Out My Name.”
- Being taken seriously means that I truly have something important to contribute to the conversation. It means that I talk when I feel that I would be adding something to the intellectual environment of the course which another student is not going to add at that particular time. I ask “stupid” questions if doing so will help another student who is even more introverted than I am. If a professor asks me about my perceived value of a course, I give them an honest, but thoughtful, answer.
- Being taken seriously also means I wear my “She has read too many books and it has addled her brain,” “Well behaved women seldom make history,” and “Beware – ignorance protects itself” shirts as often as I want and I dye the ends of my hair a deep blue. I do make an effort at standard professional dress, though – career pants go with everything!
- It means I have established a balance between my duties as a teaching assistant and my duties as a student. I answer student emails and mark papers in a timely manner, but I do so without diminishing my commitment to my courses and/or my writing.
- It means that I am taking multiple routes to increase both my participation in an academic community and my preparation for AC and alt-AC careers, so that if one of those routes turns out to be a dead end, I have other options.
- It means I have (mostly) established a work/life balance, too.
- It means that I am more excited about my work than I am overwhelmed.
In the past two and a half months, I have made all of these changes to the way I approach my PhD program. I’m really looking forward to what I will learn next!